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This topic not only substantiates my perspective of being stuck in the 'Sandwich Generation', but also contributes to the bitterness that I've been learning to keep in perspective these past few years.
Barbara Jessop recently wrote in the Wall Street Journal about the surge of young conductors taking over orchestras and opera houses, worldwide.
Click here to read her article. Interestingly, she asks a very potent question at the outset: are these people simply replacing the conductors in or near their 80's, or is there something especially unique about these individuals?
The arguments put forth indicate that it is simply the fact that a whole bunch of positions have become available due to present incumbents' old ages, and that organizations, having been criticized for ignoring young conductors, are now jumping on the band wagon and employing the experienced-although-immature 20 & 30 somethings. Jessop mentions a few unique differences such as support of contemporary (aka living) composers, reaching out to the younger generation, and technology, but in all reality these qualities are no different to most conductors in most generations past. Fortunately for Jessop, she chooses to cite egocentric exceptions to prove her points. Such as Lorin Maazel.
So, in the same way that my parent's generation is milking social security dry (
click here to read George Shipp state "We are embarrassed at the national debt we are handing to our children." on page 10) and my generation is making darn sure our kids won't suffer, we miss out. Old conductors are retiring, and the replacements are now our kids. Ouch. Nothing special. Nothing unique. Nothing out of the ordinary regular expectations of a talented, politically-savvy, music-focused conductor, but those in the middle are again getting ignored.
See where the bitterness can creep in?!
I've missed out on a great full-time conducting career for two very obvious reasons: 1. I didn't subscribe to the stuffy, self-indulgent bullying and elite-ness that classical music self-perpetuates, and 2. I'm not old enough or young enough.
Am I not good enough? I completed a 4-year college performance program in 15 months, when I was 17. When I was 19 I was England's first music conservatory Undergradute student with a conducting major. Ever. That's cool, right? When I was 21 George Hurst said I was 'too nice to be a conductor'. When I was 22, the leader of the Halle Orchestra didn't care if I was good or not: 'we'll soon change your mind for you,' he said. The Principal viola of the London Philharmonic kindly shared that the music I was conducting 'doesn't show your best side'. Because no-one had ever shared with me how a conductor is expected to behave at an audition (I always thought we were supposed to rehearse during a rehearsal), prominent agent Jasper Parrott laughed at me and has never acknowledged me since. Now I'm older and more understanding of what criticism often is, I don't hear it as much. I hear praise, and wonder, and questions, and I see enthusiasm, and interest, and an incredible willingness to give up time, money and energy to play for me - I'd like to think it's because somehow what I do gives others a satisfying opportunity to benefit/ learn/ feel/ enjoy.
So, I shall continue to pursue my love of music and conducting, I shall continue researching for my book, my radio show and my TV show, and I shall continue to enjoy my family - both at home and in the ensembles I work with. Judging by two recent surveys, it seems they, too, sometimes wonder why my career hasn't been what it could/ should have been. Well, I'm grateful for my Christian beliefs that indicate everything is as it should be for a reason, because it's not about me.

Even though this blog often is.
LOL!